A viable alternative

Us women have this cross to bear, month after month, year after year and on and on till we get old. Yes, I am talking about periods, menstruation, chums or whatever you want to call it. A girl attains puberty and is quickly handed a pack of pads or tampons and taught by her mother about wearing it, keeping herself clean and how to carry herself. End of good, carefree life. Why, do you ask? Women are more active than ever. The 4-5 days do not mean that she is at home, cloistered and inactive. True. But think of the problems

There is the problem of disposal. Flushing down the toilet is a strict no-no. Wrapping and throwing it in the trash has its own problems. These do not biodegrade. These stay in the environment, rotting in the landfills, seeping into the soil, a breeding ground for bacteria and germs. I saw this first hand during a holiday to Andamans, in which we visited Neil Island. This island is sparsely populated, spic and span, you find entire pristine beaches without a soul in sight. The changing huts in the beach spoke another horror story though. The entire floor of the hut was strewn with used pads, smelling, rotting. They were dropped there by tourists like me. This ONE sight woke me up to the fact that the pads do not vanish. They are around us and the plastics in them are choking the environment slowly.
Something as natural as human blood and tissue logically cannot and should not lead to this much of unsustainable mess.

Second and more private problem is that of the smell. Pads smell awful after a few hours. The foul odor you notice when you change your sanitary pad after several hours is actually the smell of the dying red blood cells that nourish the growth of bacteria. You also develop bad odor during period because pads block the flow of air to your genital area.

What if I tell you there are better options out there to make this monthly experience easier, lesser cramps, and environmental friendly? Menstrual cup is one of the options.

A menstrual cup is a type of feminine hygiene product which is usually made of medical grade silicone, shaped like a bell and is flexible. It is worn inside the vagina during menstruation to catch menstrual fluid (blood). About every 4–12 hours (depending on the amount of flow), the menstruating woman removes the menstrual cup from her vagina, empties the collected menstrual blood into a toilet or sink, washes the cup under running water and inserts it again. At the end of the monthly period, the cup can be sterilized, usually by boiling in water. Unlike tampons and pads, the cup collects menstrual fluid rather than absorbing it.

I have been using menstrual cups for 3 years and

• I have none of the cramps that I did before making the shift. 
• I do have weird PMS and some lethargy during my period, but for the most time, I forget I am on my period. 
• I can sit, stand, walk, sleep however I want. I can turn and sleep however I want. No kidding. Women with heavy flow know what it is like to sleep with this constant prick about staining. None of that now. Really.
• I have nothing to dispose off. Zilch. No trash. No newspaper wrappings along with the trash. You know how liberating that is? You just walk into the loo and walk out. No surreptitious cover hidden in the folds of your clothes.
• No smell to deal with. Since there is no exposure to oxygen, the smell just does not come.
• No chafing and irritation and redness in thighs during the period. Simply because the offending pad does not exist anymore!
• The biggest plus I feel is it is environmental friendly. A cup can last several years if used and cleaned correctly.

So these are the pros. Are there no cons? Yes, there are some challenges, which can be handled.

• How easy is it to adapt? I will be honest here and admit that its not a breeze to getting used to a cup inside your vagina. You will need a lot of patience and some practice. But once you are used to the process, I promise, you will love the change.
• Are cups available in India? Yes of course. Many online sites have the cup and some even have guidance to select the right size.

                Select your cup size

• Are there videos explaining how to use? Yes, some links that I found

                 FAQ videos

                FAQs

• How expensive are the cups? Well, a cup costs several times a pack of pads will cost you, but you will more than compensate that within a year. Lets say your pads cost Rs 100 per month, and a cup costs Rs 800, after 8 months of using the cup, you have made up its cost. And it can last several years!!
• The sight of blood!!How bad will that be? Its not too awful, not anymore than handling the smelly pad during every change.
• Can we bathe, pee and poop with the cup ON? Of course! It does not impact any of the said activities. You can even go swimming!!
• Can young teenagers use the cup? Well, yes. They might have a bit more of a challenge since they are still gaining familiarity with their bodies. Technically the cup cannot tear the hymen if one is worried about this aspect. 
• Is there a support group for sustainable measures? Yes, this FB group 

            FB Support group

• Don't tampons do the same thing? Well tampons are still disposable and you end up contributing to the waste.

So are you willing to go the extra step and do the right thing? Help reduce plastic and needless waste? 

I did and no looking back now. I will never wear a pad again.

PS : The links given above are just those that I found. There are many more sites online. Please read up and choose the best option for you.

Six months on

Those who know me might describe me as short and on the heavier side at their charitable best. And those who don't would see a short and well obese woman. There were quite a few who tried to tell me to take care of my health in subtle and not so subtle means. Well meaning, I am sure, but ineffective because it did not motivate me at all.

And so, here I was, eating much more than what I ever used to, getting heavier and less confident in myself. Stamina was at an all time low. Just going out on an errand for a couple of hours would exhaust me for the whole day. Going for a walk felt miserable as I was low on energy and did not like the way I looked at all. I did not look forward to meeting people and dreaded social occasions. My demeanor had changed from a calm happy person to one who had anger issues. I had weekly headaches which had symptoms of mild migraine.

Till the day I started yoga six months ago. I chanced upon a private trainer who would come home and immediately signed up. And from then on, everything has only gotten better.

Jan 21 - Mar 20 2016
The first two months were tough. She would come 3 days a week and I had lots of aches and pains in the beginning. All I did the first two months were attend the classes. Did not go for walk, did not try to eat less, but automatically started eating less. Slowly I started feeling better, energy levels were up and headaches had vanished. I did not go near the weighing machine the first two months. I was scared there would be no change and I would get badly demotivated.

 Mar 21 - July 20 2016
End of two months(March 21), I felt I had improved somewhat in weight and energy and felt better about myself. I dared to check my weight. I started going for walks in the evening and slowly increased the duration of walks. Started doing yoga on the days my trainer did not come home.
I became more conscious about what I ate. Started a proper teatime snack at 4 pm(dates and rusk or makhana with tea), salad dinner a month back. Breakfast and lunch no change.  I did the 108 suryanamaskaars on June 21 and plan to do it at least once a month. I try and drink more water than I did before. I have incorporated Leslie walks and a few short routines in the evening. And am very happy to see a drop of 8 kg in 4 months. And with it, compliments and wishes to continue.

My major learnings :
1. Yoga really helped in increasing my stamina slowly. The aasans with right breathing do wonders to composure and calm the mind.
2. Clean eating came AFTER I saw results. I could never have started with a diet and yoga at the same time.
3. Hiring a private trainer was the best thing I did.
4. It took time for me to understand my body. I take more time and hence asked my trainer to change aasans once in two months rather than once a month.
5. I see that if I try to push a little, my body is willing to do better.
6. For me, I could not have started with a Leslie walk and continue it. The lack of stamina made it impossible.
7. Salad dinner got my digestive system right and I now have glowing skin!

And here I am, poised and confident about the rest of the journey.

The Martian by Andy Weir

The Martian by Andy Weir
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If someone had told me I would get hooked to a Science Fiction book and relate to many many moments in it, I would have laughed. But 'The Martian' caught me in its pincer grip and refused to let go until I had read the last page and closed it with a big 'whoa'.

Page turner? Absolutely yes.

Soppy emotions? Just the right teeny dash of it. I found myself rooting for potatoes to grow, desperate for the protagonist to establish some contact with earth, felt the rickety-bullock-cart type last ride to the one and only chance of coming back home.

Science? Loads of it. The kind  a 15 year old will grasp.

Set far in the future? Well, yes and its the foreseeable future. Not one where people fly around in their personal pods you know?

Stretch of imagination? Totally. What good is SciFi without a huge stretch of imagination!! The best part is all the scenarios and solutions are based on solid and known science.

The style of narration? Super! Simple and not dry and full of attitude. We are actually dealing with one very cool astronaut you see?

I thought this can be made into a great movie. Duh! Just got to know its already happening. I know, I know, I have been an ostrich with its head buried in sand.

And (I HAD to put this here, my Indian sensibilities force my hand) is it only me who finds the name 'Venkat Kapoor' strange?

Go ahead, read this book and enjoy the ride!!!


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Share the pain.....

We have often heard and read that it helps to talk to someone about negative feelings and experiences. We do not hesitate to share good tidings with all and sundry. But when it comes to aches and pains that life throws at us, we are very choosy about sharing it. Most times, it gets buried without finding expression.

There are rare occasions I vent out. And I now realise that it has helped.

When Sid was very small and I was still working, I landed an opportunity for an overseas assignment, albeit a short one. Since we did not want to leave him completely at the maid's care for the entire duration, we decided to leave him at my parents'. I went to Coimbatore, left him there and returned to Mumbai by flight. Ahh… this whole event is easily covered in just a sentence. But leaving him and returning alone was hell. The wait at Coimbatore airport was unadulterated misery. I do not remember the rest of the journey, I still remember the terrible wait at the Coimbatore airport. 

From then on, every time I stepped at Coimbatore airport, the same misery would rise up like bile. Even when Sid was with me, I would still tear up at the association. 

After several years, in one of my chats with Appa, I narrated the whole thing, stressing upon the pain I felt every time I went to the airport. And now, I suddenly realise, Coimbatore airport is no longer an evil place in my mind. It is like any other airport. 

I can attribute this cleansing to time. I would rather attribute it to expressing it to a person, who was in tune with what I said and felt what I did. Or it is a combination of both.

Do you have such experiences? Or do you feel it is cathartic to just live out the pain and emerge clean after.

The Levellers

I remember reading this poem long back, during school. I was mighty impressed then with the thought that there is this great equaliser to which everyone must bow. I quote this poem here

Death the Leveller

By James Shirley (1596-1666)

---

THE glories of our blood and state 
         Are shadows, not substantial things; 
There is no armour against Fate; 
         Death lays his icy hand on kings: 
         Sceptre and Crown 
         Must tumble down, 
         And in the dust be equal made 
With the poor crooked scythe and spade. 

Some men with swords may reap the field, 
         And plant fresh laurels where they kill: 
But their strong nerves at last must yield; 
         They tame but one another still: 
         Early or late 
         They stoop to fate, 
And must give up their murmuring breath 
When they, pale captives, creep to death. 

The garlands wither on your brow, 
         Then boast no more your mighty deeds! 
Upon Death's purple altar now 
         See where the victor-victim bleeds. 
         Your heads must come 
         To the cold tomb: 
Only the actions of the just 
Smell sweet and blossom in their dust. 

____________________________________________

While death is the greatest leveller, I can think of a few more. 

Seen a school while the process of admissions are on? Anxious parents and well prepared kids. The blackberry toting father has left his baggage of ego and aggressive demeanour back home. Parents are their humblest selves at the schools of their kids.

Hospitals? A sick person, however high and mighty, has to experience the pain. He cannot escape the course of the disease. At best, he may manage to get the most effective treatment, but still cannot escape the side effects, the pain.

I am in the process of renewing my passport. For those, who haven't seen the system in India, I can succinctly say, passport office is extremely crowded, but not chaotic. There is an order and its only the sheer numbers that increases the wait time and not the process by itself. So yes, the passport office is yet another leveller. There was this uneducated, elderly man right before me in the queue. There are couples with very small babies, mothers with several children in tow. There are those who are patient to wait and those who manage to get irked at the smallest imagined slight. You wait with all of them.

It is at such places one is reminded of the ground under their feet. Such places jolt one's head out of the clouds. 

So what other experiences can you count as levellers? Any thoughts?

What are we missing!!

A particularly long and stressful day when everything happened to need immediate attention and when every single task had to follow Murphy's Law (if something can go wrong, it WILL), had me desperate to relax and wind down by the end of it.

Reading a book was out of question. I was too stressed to even read, come to think of it. Mindless iPad games did not do the trick either and hence I found myself take a walk when the boys had dinner. Halfway through my walk, a cat startled me by jumping out of the mini-tree on the pathway and we both looked at each other straight in the eye. Neither of us broke the gaze, and I actually liked looking into the clear eyes of the cat. It would be presumptuous of me to say that the cat communicated something or that it showed me a large depth. Naah....

All it made me think of was that animals are colour blind. They do not see colour. They completely miss out on the blue sky and green grass and pretty flowers and everything else. I assume they see things in blacks, whites and greys? But then, a cat sees much better in the dark than we can ever hope to. It can see in the dark, so what if its all grey? A bat can emit sound waves at a much higher frequency than our ears can ever comprehend. A dog can smell things that we cannot. Our intelligence helps us understand that there are things we do not see, hear, smell. But that will never replace the experience, will it? Maybe we are built only to see seven colours and their combinations and not more. May be there are more colours. Yes, we know about infra red and ultra violet, but we do not see them anywhere do we? And may be there are colours of a totally different dimension than below red and above violet? In which case, we don't know what we are missing? Just like the cat will never know that it cannot see colours.

This train of thought humbled me and so it happened that the eyes of a stray cat did what no other activity could. I went back home, my normal calm self.

In the Shadow of the Banyan

In the Shadow of the Banyan by Vaddey Ratner
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It is rare to come across a book that jolts you and makes you weep. I am more than glad that I came across this one and read it.

This is set in the time of 1975-79 at Cambodia. The period of Khmer Rouge, the killing fields, the systemic breakdown of the fabric of the Cambodian society.

The story is that of a young 7 year old Raami who is forced to flee her home with her loved ones barely packing up what could be a few bundles. It is the story of loss, tribulation, of a seven year old who is forced to understand things that even adults would not want to. It is also a story of dreams, hope, beauty and the human want to survive at all odds.

When her father is taken away by the Khmer Rouge, the young Raami beseeches with him to not go away. She begs him to tell her one last story. If that doesn't break your heart, nothing will.

Her mother's fury at what she felt was abandonment at the hands of her husband.  In just a few lines of a story of a family of birds, the author gets the reader to feel what this woman goes through.

Only when she finally manages to flee her country, not knowing what had become of her father, what his last moments were like, does the child dare to take his name.

There are too many poignant moments like these, too many for me to list down. If you are looking for historical facts, or if you want to understand what the genocide was like, this book is not for you. But if you liked the Kite Runner or The Thousand Splendid Suns, I would seriously recommend this one.

This is one book I am sure to read again and again.



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