Share the pain.....
We have often heard and read that it helps to talk to someone about negative feelings and experiences. We do not hesitate to share good tidings with all and sundry. But when it comes to aches and pains that life throws at us, we are very choosy about sharing it. Most times, it gets buried without finding expression.
There are rare occasions I vent out. And I now realise that it has helped.
When Sid was very small and I was still working, I landed an opportunity for an overseas assignment, albeit a short one. Since we did not want to leave him completely at the maid's care for the entire duration, we decided to leave him at my parents'. I went to Coimbatore, left him there and returned to Mumbai by flight. Ahh… this whole event is easily covered in just a sentence. But leaving him and returning alone was hell. The wait at Coimbatore airport was unadulterated misery. I do not remember the rest of the journey, I still remember the terrible wait at the Coimbatore airport.
From then on, every time I stepped at Coimbatore airport, the same misery would rise up like bile. Even when Sid was with me, I would still tear up at the association.
After several years, in one of my chats with Appa, I narrated the whole thing, stressing upon the pain I felt every time I went to the airport. And now, I suddenly realise, Coimbatore airport is no longer an evil place in my mind. It is like any other airport.
I can attribute this cleansing to time. I would rather attribute it to expressing it to a person, who was in tune with what I said and felt what I did. Or it is a combination of both.
Do you have such experiences? Or do you feel it is cathartic to just live out the pain and emerge clean after.
Dear Aishu,
ReplyDeleteAishu, i am sure it was immensely painful and you have come out of it beautifully... but i feel some pains never leave you.. like, whenever i see anyone in a hospital with a fracture and limping, a ball just obstructs my throat and my eyes start watering involuntarily...as I remember Balaji in the Hospital bed that night... it refuses to leave me..Even the thought that he is perfectly fine now does not dilute my pain..
From what I can think of, certain pains can never be washed clean..they stay with you forever..
I understand you completely. I was there and I saw. Those were some difficult times.
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